The Past & The Present.. (I Can't Think Of The Future For Now)...

Lotsa things have been happening lately.. Pretty surprises n also the 'OMG' kinda surprises.. Let's start with 'OMG' shall we..? I was late in my mensus n didn't think much abt it. During the fasting month, thr were some hiccups which i was down with a gastric pain that i neva had before. When i went to the doctor, he kept askin me when was my last period n when should the next one come.. I told him the details and such. As days goes by, i feel a lil uncomfortable n cranky every now n den.. I get hungry easily n i demanded for lotsa things.. HmMmMmMm.. During raya season, i found out i was carryin Smurf..

BF helped me with the research for the clinic he can think off. I was upset for the fact i couldn't keep it.. How to..? i'm not stable enough.. Fast forward - after the appt with the doctor, i decided to keep it for at least a wk before baby has to go.. During the entire wk, i played with it, talked to it, cried with it n even snored with it. Smurf was definitely close to BF coz each n every day, i juz wanna meet him n not wanting to seperate. Eventho i was VERY tired..

During the very last moments, i juz cried my heart out when BF asked me - are you ready for tomorrow..? Truth is - i was NOT..!! I was NOT prepared to let him go~ He was onli 3cm.. He was so0o0o small.. But i could feel how BIG he was inside.. He knew he was luved - alot.. But not much enough to prevent all this from happenin.. He wanted to stae.. But there's nothing we can do.. :'( During the whole procedure, i was aslp.. But then, Smurf gave me a pretty pleasant dream. I love you, Smurf.. Alot.. I juz couldn't stop cryin at nite.. I woke up, with wet face.. OMG.. I was cryin in my slp.

As for work, things are fine now. I've buck with my attendance n definitely - working attitude.

That's all i wanna sae.. My mind is all filled with Smurf.. And BF of coz..

Signing Off : The Kitty Who Has Burried Her Precious Gem Deep In Her Heart.. So So Deep..

A Draggy Tuesday For A Start & An Irrinoying Note Frm The Boss

No 1) I skipped pre-dawn despite bf called to wake me up..

No 2) I had a tough tyme gettin off bed..

Tsk..! He was actuallie hoping that i called him, in e end, it turned out the otha wae.. I realli couldn't get my lazy bumz off the bed for both occasionz.. Aiyoyo..!!! Woke up at 7.45am n forced myself to get off the bed.. -____- *Grumpy mode* Head for the shower n kinda took a lil longer time in thr.. Heh.. Wore my 2 in 1 outfit 2dae n suprisingly, i'm using my high heels afta a lo0ong2 tyme.. Heh.. The one with 3 straps n golden bucklez at the sidez.. N yes, terkedek2 jln.. Had a hard tyme balancing at 1zt, but after a while, it seemed to be perfectly alright.. Managed to balance myself in the end.. :) The dae at werk was.. Ok la.. Kinda draggy too.. Like yesterdae also lor.. Irritating arh..

Next, heard that thr are issues on PUB, again.. Jason is getting realli pissed with all this n saed that if we (Rachelle, Fecility n Jason) dun clean this up, he will expect a weekend shift n it's e WHOLE damn dae.. Aper seii..?! Mepek siak..!! He even saed that NO ONE is exempted frm this n all muzt come to clean this entire mess up.. Siak arh.. This tyme round ayah, ibu da takleii buat apape.. If we must come, den no choice... Juz prae the issue will be resolved n our weekend won't be disturbed.. Hopefully.. InsyaAllah..

Signing Off : The Kitty Who Wishes To Throw Her Heels At The Person Who's Causing This Mess..!

My Cold Wet-Ness-Day

After i left the shower in the morning, i noticed the skiez doesn't lo0k so g0od.. True enuff, it was cloudy.. Pretty dark out thr.. How lovely if i could just slp the dae awae.. But na-ah.. I've changed my mindset.. I'm gonna kip up with work before it kips up with me.. N yeah, i can see now i'm pretty good with the apps.. No more complaints on my side.. InsyaAllah, all this will go sm0othly each n every day.. :) Btw, Joanne didn't turn up for work today as she called in sick.. Left home, the rain's pretty heavy.. Thank go0dness there's shelter all the wae to the bustop.. At least i dun hafta carry my ella with me.. The onli part that was wet was basically my feet n part of the dress..

When i reached the office, was told by Jason that IDA are coming.. Doing a security check n we'll hafta tidy up the place.. So, it's just me n Rachelle who does the cleaning since Dawn is awae in the warehouse.. The shitty part was, i planned to leave for lunch at 12.30pm.... But that damn blardy asshole decided to hold an abrupt meeting at that tyme..! Wat e hell..?! Despite it doesn't really concerns me since he wazn't putting his attention towards me, but den, wanna leave the place just like dat oso not nice mah.. Dawn n i were practically grumbling to each otha thru the communicator.. At 1pm, i juz pte chat with Rachelle n told her that i'm leaving for lunch no matter wat.. I haf gastritis, mind u..!

Lunch wat at Blk 92 thr, where i had marinara.. Yessa..! The indulgence to a plate of pasta with extra scallop... Ouh yeah~ While waiting, Dawn played with my hp n i just sit n looked at her.. Kinda funny when she gets so0o stressed up into finding the difference.. Hahahahah.. She sure enjoied herself with the game.. She browsed thru all the apps n such.. Can tell she realli loves my fone - ALOT.. Heee..

Back in the office, werk was as per normal.. Did all that was this wk n haf since started for next Tuesdae.. The go0d news is, my worst nightmare is ova... Did the PUB together with Rachelle.. Yay~ Kinda spent the dae takin my own swit tyme gettin the apps done.... :)

A few more mins n i'm off to meet my one n onli hunnie bunnie bear bacen.. Macam2 namer btol aku kasi dier ehk..? Yg penting, he's the HUBBY.. Nyeh~ Luv u, yah.. Can't wait 2 meet u.... Uwee~~

Signing Off : The Kitty Who Is Contented With Her Work

~Why Oh Why~

Weekend was a blast despite the fact part of the Saturdae was a total disaster.. Still, as alwaez, he managed to make me realize again and again how in luv he was with me.. Went to the cage at Kallang whr Team Qirana had a frenly match with Team Havana.. BF left the cage with scars on his face.. Aiyo.. Wat e hell..! But still, u're lo0kin as hot as eva, honey.. :) Supper was at KTM which epul did most of the talkin.. Frankly, i was already half aslp.. Thank gawd waty poked me.. Heh~ Back at home, while chillin n talkin 2 him, his brudder stepped in n told uz that he was involved in an accident.. Wounds lo0ked pretty bad... Had to force BF to take a look at e wounds.. -___- & i have a habit for feelin tingly n painful all ova when seein otha ppl's wounds n blo0d.. Still, i wanna see... Crappy rite..? 0_0


On Sunday, BF dropped the bomb to me n saed that he wanna get engage with me.. Wow.. I was left speechless lor.. N blushing at e same tyme... We did the calculations n i came up with a final ans that if he starts to save $500 as of next month (Aug 2010), by Oct 2014, he'll have $25,000 in hiz savingz acc already.. N he finds the month real nice.. It's in btwn the both of us.. I'm Sept & he's Nov.. :)


So on Monday.. Yes..! I was pretty lazy to get my stinkin ass off the bed n into the freakin shower n get ready to go to work.. After much tossin n turnin, i get up n got the ball rolling.. The day was fine.. Things went super well.. Even at werk.. No problemz were raised.. If so, it'z basically juz minor2 onez.. The dae ended, perfectly fine..


Today was kinda sucky.. 1st was about the clothez.. I dun realli noe how to eplain in details arh.. All i can sae was that i'm upset... I came to a point in which i'll throw all those tight-fitting, body-hugging, short skirtz, leggingz awae.. I dun find the purpose into keepin dem already.. So so0n enuff, i'll be back 2 being me again, back in 2005... Whr it's alwaez jeanz n t-shirt... Even if i need to wear office wear, i'll wear those long not-too-tight office pants n long-sleeved office top.. As for work, meeting went well n we came to an agreement between StagingDA & SCCM.. I explained to dem the difficulty on my side, while dey explained theirs.. Back in the office, nearin towards the end of the dae, thingz got pretty rough.. I find myself not in the mo0d for anything since i received an email regarding missing applications.. N truth is, i didn't even do it.. But den, wateva concerns app mapping, i'll b the first in line to get sho0t at by the boss.. Haizz...


Back at home, i didn't noe wat my mind was thinking.. All i azked myself was - wat e hell is wrong with u..? How could u possibly asked for a 4-days off from meetin e man whom u reali luv..? Dun u pity him..? Oh, u self-centered bytch..! But then, he has already agreed to it.. He's givin me all the space he could give even it's for sure it's beyond his meanz.. All i did was cried the moment i got into the room n hugged my bear.. I have no idea wat state i am in now.. All i could think of was to curl up n buried my face in my pillows..


True: I'll miss his hugs..
True: I'll miss his touch..
True: I'll miss his laughter..
True: I'll miss his eyes..
True: I'll miss his kisses..


True enough, I'll miss each & every single detail there is to it abt him..


Signin Off : The Kitty Who Is Dazed & Confuzed

:: The Past, Sumthing In Between & What's New ::

A lot of thingz has been happenin in our livez lately.. The good, the bad  the ugly.. U name it.. We got it.. Be it at werk, at home or in between uz..

Let's start with me ferst..

Previously, things at werk were atrocious, i tell u.. It juz felt like breakin down n cry in front of e whole wide werld.. I was pretty much pushed too hard n also was tryin my very best to make things better.. Stayed back late every nw n den juz to finish up the tasks as much as i could.. There was once, the beginning, i had 2 stae till like 8.15pm juz to complete the tasks.. OMG~ BF was pretty pissed n upset with that.. But thank God he had an extra helmet with him at werk.. So he told me to wait for him.. While waiting, i was practically chillin n sumwhat enjoin the 'nitelife' in a office on a FRIDAE.. Hahahaha.. When BF arrived, he looked super HOT in his FULL uniform.. *Singin* Oh My Gosh~~~~ Ok fine.. Mengakal moment... *slurp*

After that, we head down to Teh Tarik for dinner.. We had a luvly chat during dinner.. Den he received a msg frm Hus n he stated that on dat very nite, thr was a jamming session.. Enader last minute thing... Told him 2 pass the session, but Hus juz kept pleadin him 2 come with the reason the vocal is comin ova.. So ok lor.. Went home right after that, showered, n met him back... To tell u the truth, the vocalist is nowhr near FAME..

Regarding him plak, is basically abt his mom nagging at him 2 get a part tyme job.. Y laze ard at home without any benefits bla bla bla... That's all i noe la kan.. :)

Next, abt us.. Things got pretty much outta hand lately.. There were lotsa fights between us despite we were already ok.. Within a few minutes or perhapz the next dae, we'll start 2 fight again.. Stuffs about gettin a car, abt me, abt him, anything la.. But yesterdae was the werst in our fights list.. Blame me n my foul mouth n PMS.. Haiyah~ I didn't mean to blurt it out coz 2 me, he's not dat kinda person.. He'z juz someone who demands attention whenever he can get any.. And dat onli happenz when he's with me.. Like physically.. So yeah.. He saed somethin hurtftul to me the night before n i made it sound twice as hurtful.. Sometymes i wonder if 'twice' is even the correct calculation.. Could be more den dat.. N yes, i shot him straight in his head, wishing that i could juz point the tip of the gun at my head n juz pull the trigger...But that's equivalent to givin up. I fought for his love so bad. I won't wanna risk everything by givin up..

So we talked the nite awae.. Tryin meanz n waez to settle everything, but it turned out that i'm creatin more problemz in between.. I juz feel like runnin up 2 him n hug him as tight as i could.. Haiz.. I gave him mindless terms n conditions which was in a wae extremely difficult to even sae it out.. But it was saed out aniwae.. Heart was heavy.. It hurts like hell.... I've hurt the man i luved s0o dearly.. This tyme round, it will leave a permanent scar on him.. What haf i done...??? I'm sucha BYTCH....!!!

N yesterdae was fine.. I guess... Met him at his carpark as per normal n had dinner with him.. I talked to him during dinner n shared with him details he nids to noe.. Den along the wae, thru the end, somethin happened.. He was not his oldself.. I could it.. I tried to be nice to him.. But it didn't work out. He was still distant towards me.. But den again, all i could do is juz face up 2 him n smile, assuring myself things are going to be juz fine..

At nite, we chatted on e fone awhile before he started to sing.. I was serenaded by hiz tone n juz remain quiet.. He sang n sang n i wished we could've hung up earlier or maebe i could juz crack my brainz n opened a dumb topic.. He asked me a question which realli hurts me alot.. I tried to avoid it, but comin to e end of the conversation, i juz told him i respected his decisions.. Thinking that he already saed 'gdbye', i juz hung up the fone.. He called me back n saed that i hung up on him again... Wat e heck~ Enader misunderstanding.. He wanted to talk abt it the very nite, but i was too slpy already.. My head was already thumpin like mad it could juz explode.. 

Woke up the very next day n noticed that his msgs were not sincere.. It felt like as if he was forced to msg me.. So i juz texted him that if his not willing to send any msgs, dun bother.. N kabo0m..! The fight continued.. Haishh... We were arguing all the wae from the moment i left home till e very moment i reached the office.. Due to e headache i had, i took a cab..

I juz told him wat was really happenin n wat i'm realli facing. I told him i was apologetic n juz wanz thingz to b the wae it was... I wan the old him back.. I HATE the new him.. I totally DESPISE that person... So i told him that unless i get the old raffi back n m realli assure i got him back, things will definitely b ok.. But den again, onli tyme will tell..

We've been fighting alot lately & it's extremely sucky.. Both of uz juz wan the honeymoon period back.. Coz i can c that e period has sumwhat ended.. I'm tryin my very bezt 2 get that period back.. All i wan is the man whom i used to chase 4 mnths ago like hell - juz to get his freakin attention..

I luv u, ayah.. Alot... More than u can eva imagine.. Despite there are moments i might not show how much u mean 2 me, but truth is, i'm willing to take e bullet for u..

Signing Off : The Kitty Who Wanz The Man Whom She Used To Chase 4 Months Ago

-- A Day Spent With The Man --

This happened yesterdae - 2nd June 2010...

Woke up, opened e main do0r n wow!!! It was damn cold out thr!! Cold breeze kissed my skin.. N tell u e truth, dat is not such a gd thing~ So when i wanted to shower, along e wae, i was coughin like hell.. Throat starts to hurt wheneva i coughed or swallow anithing.. N mom - being e kastam officer as olwaez, stopped me n feel my forehead... She went, 'adeq, u're running a temperature alreadi.. Go see a doctor or something...' I told her, 'No Ma, i got things to do...' She juz sho0k her head n continued makin breakfast..

Met BF n off we went to have breakfast at McDonald's.. He requested for it.. Yes Ayah.. I asked u 3x in a row if u realli wanted it.. N u saed YES.. =p So, i got myself breakfast deluxe, n BF got himself sausage mcmuffin, but later found out he hatez cheeze.. So we traded.. I made him enader burger frm my BD dis tyme with egg n i ate hiz burger.. =) Breakfast was lurve!! The the premium brewed coffee - SUPERB! But den, throat starts to swell again.. Coughin hurts n i can't even yawn.. Adoi!! Texted the main ppl dat i won't b comin in.. So off to BF's place..

Played with Ikhy the moment i stepped in.. Hehehe... Scratchin her head, her ears n whereva i can lae my fingers on.. Lepak2 in his room n dozed off.. My head started to spin alreadi.. It was unbearable.. N i admit, when i'm sick, i can get very mengakal.. U noe to a certain fact that i wan him 2 be with me but at e same tyme i dun wanna be disturbed...? Fickle-minded la me.. Wahlao! He WAS craving for my attenti0n.. But i simply shoved him away.. OH MY GOD!! I'm such a meanie.. I mean, i'm sorie.. I didn't mean it.. Yet, he still hugged me n all.. Even when i dun respond to him.. Gosh AYAH.. I luv u, sia!!!!

Later in e dae, he finally confessed to me.. He saed that i m jealous of him n his electric guitar while he's jealous of me n my FB... 0_0 i'm like - ouhkae.. Perhaps i put too much attention into it.. Hehehe.. Round the clock it's me n FB.. Nyeh!

At nite, we went to cozwae point.. By BUS.. Wow!!! I managed to drag BF to take e bus with me... Hehehe.. N he kept complainin n yawning.. But i dun care.. I won!! I managed to make him take e bus!!! JAIHO! Our missio at cozwae - to find me a top (a navy blue one) to match with e CK top i bought for him.. N mission was a complete failure.. I couldn't find anithin.. Haiyah!! Got a pair of earringz instead.. Wanted to get a ring as well, but wat we saw is not wat we wanted... Haizz..

Dinner was at Burger King.. Wow!! BF ate burger - again.. I dun mind if u're still cho0zy.. Enader mission success.. Hehehehe.. I made u eat burgers.. Hehehehe.. N he was hepi dat his craving was satisfied.. He sure enjoyed his Hershey's Sundae Pie.. He was too buzy indulging himself, dat it was me doin the talkin all e wae.. But i dun mind.. He talked alot already back at home.. So it's my turn.. =) We balance things, ok.. ;p Dinner was filled with lotsa laughter.. N yes, i enjoyed entertainin him during dinner.. Undergoin training? Guess so.. Hehehe..

I'm like seriously head over heels with my man.. Practically if i can do a cartwheel, i'll do it.. Kk.. Too drama-mama.. If i were to do it, i think he'll go : Yenna rascal la... MIND IT! Hahaha... K ayah, i noe u're smiling widely n maebe laughin as well.. Control.. Heheheheheh.... I luv ya, baby!!!

Signing Off : The Kitty Who Luvz Her Man Alot.. (Like DUH!)

- Tak Sanggop Lagi -

Ayah, kenape mesti ader orang dengki ngan kiter..? Juz bcoz niat kiter baik nak menolong, dier hina n caci kiter.. Tuduh macam2.. Biler menolong, orang akan cakap kiter memandai... Biler tak tolong, orang akan ckp luper member.. Pentingkan diri sendiri.. Ibu betol2 tak tau macam maner lagi nak paham aper erti persahabatan..

Ibu da taknak masok campor dalam apape hal agik arh, yah.. Da takder maknenyer nak tolong2 orang lagi.. Ayah nak tolong, ayah leii carry on.. But if it happens yg ader masalah tuh kawan kiter, pls ehk ayah.. Tell e person not to bother me.. I've had enuff arh.. Even if e person wans to meet u with me along, Ibu ikot.. Tapi ibu tukang dgr jek.. Ibu taknak kasi apape pendapat agik kat orang2 nih sumer.. Walao macam maner ibu sayang diorang pon, takperla.. Lebih rela handle masalah sendiri.. I'd rather be selfish already..

Agikpon, kiter kan takder experience part2 yg da berumah-tangge.. Kiter maner leii kasi pendapat atao nasihat agik.. Kiter kan anak abu.. Orang tuh bbl macam dier da berumah-tangge.. Dier sendiri macam paham, nak ckp orang... Dier saper seii..? Sedare? Adeq? Ader blood relations ke? Wateva la haa.. Like wat i saed, ibu da tak kuase nak tlng lagik.. Ibu da penat.. Ibu da taknak ader kene mengena ngan masalah2 diorang agik.. I've got things to do rather den butt in into someone else's affairs or watsoeva...

I have to focus on my family & dat includes YOU, career, liscence n our future.. Tuh lagi penting.. Apape masalah yg ader kaitan ngan hubungan matair ke, suami isteri ke, scandalism ke - KIRIM SALAM...! Takder maser nak layan n perah2 otak nih sumer... Ayah nyer orang baik hati.. Ibu tau ayah maseh leii mampu tlng sesaper yg perlukan bantuan.. So go ahead ayah.. I won't stop u.. I won't even get angry.. In fact, i'm blessed to have someone like u in my life..

Signing Off : The Kitty Who Has Given Up Part Of Being A Go0d Fren..

This Is Super Irrinoying!!!

Here I am, glued to my seat, starin at lappy with my fingers clickin awae - juz to find the blo0dy reasonz on y certain SR tix are not closed.. But the thing is, the Task IDs are not found in the email n NRICs are not in the schedule.. -.- Been clickin n clickin.. Click click click.. All e wae.. Kk.. To0 dramatic.. I noe..

Next, it's e eyes.. MY eyes.. Dey're heavy.. Time check: 4.40pm.. OMG~! 50 minz more to go.. The reason i'm slpy, coz thr's nothin much for me to do.. Well, basically thr is la.. But it's juz copy n paste.. Done e ones that nids to be done already.. Yg lain tuh consider belen2 arh... Haiyah! Penat arh nih macam.. Afta Joanne explained to me, i realised the task is actuallie kinda easy to understand.. So dear Senior, y do u hafta make thingz & life difficult for uz by explainin e taskz in a complicated manner? =_=

Boss was oso havin a super bad dae.. He took out hiz anger on most of uz here.. Sheesh! N e best part, e problem was mailed out in e aftano0n, & onli now he opened up hiz mails? Wat was he doin for the rest of e dae den? Watchin movies online again? N onli now u wanna take action? But yeah yeah.. U're e boss.. Pfft!

So yeah, i was hopin for a gd dae.. It started off juz fine.. Laughter was all ova e place.. Back den in e warehouse with Joanne.. But now, wadda fish! Baby, my day is ruined.. :(

Signing Off : The Kitty Who Feelz Like Packing Up & Leave This Instant!